Lost Angel
by bucktooth22
Summary: Celestials are second class species, they have to keep their wings bound until they have a sponsor to vouch for them. Stigma, racism, and abuse, these kids are going to have to go through a lot of pain before they can hope to be free of it.
1. Fateful Meeting

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural

Dean glared down at the floor, his little fists curled into hot white balls at his sides.

"What did I tell you?" John shouted, moving his arms in dramatic motions to express the grandeur of his wrath. One moved dangerously close to Dean's left eye, but he didn't flinch. He'd stopped shying away from it a long time ago, not that he'd been alive long enough for anything to really be a long time. Sammy was sitting at the table eating cereal, legs swinging, loud crunching, his tears now dry. "I told you to watch Sammy, keep him safe. I told you, didn't I?" John shouted. He grabbed Dean by the arm and dragged him outside, throwing him to the curb. He stumbled and fell, scraping his elbow and palms. Did it matter that he had to steal cereal for Sammy to eat because John hadn't left them with money? No. Did it matter that he had called John so many times asking for help, saying something was wrong? No. Then Sammy came home with a black eye, and suddenly there was John, ready to punish Dean for messing up. Dean felt blood in his sleeve but didn't move. John moved to the trunk of the car and for a moment Dean thought he was going to be locked inside again, but then he returned with a hunting knife. He threw it at Dean's feet. "Don't come back till you have dinner." Dean wanted to say screw you, or maybe sneer and say dinner for one? But instead he stood, picked up the knife, and said through clenched jaw, "Yes sir." It was a three mile walk to the woods, then he had to set traps, enough to catch food for not only him, but John and Sammy as well.

At the end of the night he'd caught two rabbits and a squirrel, and was carrying them back to the motel when he saw a boy sitting on the curb. He was going to ignore the kid but when he looked up at Dean he had big blue eyes full of tears. Then Dean noticed the wings on the kid's back. Ebony features held tight against his back with thick leather straps.

"Why are you crying?" Dean asked.

"The straps hurt." The boy said sniffling.

"Do you want me to take them off?" Dean asked.

"No, I'm not allowed." The boy said sadly. Dean wasn't surprised, this area wasn't fancy enough, or progressive enough for free flying celestials. Celestials were the same as humans, just with wings, so Dean never saw them as anything other than people like him. However, due to the laws, if they were not sponsored by a human they were not allowed to use their wings, and were forced to bind them after reaching the age of ten. The boy looked dirty and thin, Dean wondered if he was hungry. The animals he'd caught suddenly felt heavy on his shoulder. He sighed and sat down next to the boy.

"Do you know how to make a fire?" Dean asked. The boy shook his head. They sat together and Dean taught him how to make and start a fire, what wood to use, and how to skin and cook a rabbit. When it was done he made the boy eat it, and waited until he had finished to take his leave.

"Who are you?" The boy asked with wide eyes.

"My name's Dean." Dean said.

"I mean...why? Why are you so nice?" The boy asked. Dean didn't think anything he'd done was particularly nice, so he just shrugged.

"See ya around kid." He said before walking back. John yelled at him for not bringing home more, and gave the rabbit to Sam, and took the squirrel for himself. Dean went to wash the blood off, his stomach growling painfully. His thoughts flitted to those blue eyes, hauntingly beautiful, or maybe beautifully mournful.


	2. Requesting Help

Castiel still cried on occasion, the straps were too tight and they bit into the delicate artistry that was his wings. His brothers teased him for being a baby, he'd not told any of them about the boy he met though. That was his little private secret from them, something he could think about to make him smile when he was sad. He was sitting with one of his oldest brothers, Gabriel, when he decided maybe it was okay to share.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" Castiel asked.

"Ooh, Cassie boy, you got a crush?" Gabriel seemed delighted.

"I met this boy." Castiel said, voice sounding small. "Please don't tell."

"It can be our little secret Cas." Gabe said smiling and nodding. "Tell me about this boy."

"He was so nice, and gave me some of his food."

"Well? Where's he from? We can get you two together." Gabe asked.

"He wasn't. He was human."

"Cas… You know that's a bad idea without me having to tell you that, right?" Gabe looked concerned.

"He was nice though!" Castiel protested. "He offered to take the straps off, or loosen them for me."

"That's dangerous to even say." Gabe crossed his arms.

"Please Gabriel, please help me find him." Castiel begged. Gabe looked in Cas's eyes for a long time before letting out a heavy sigh and nodding.

"We have to be very careful, not to let anyone know. I mean it Cas. This stays between you and me." He said in a firm voice. It was surprisingly out of character for Gabe to be so serious, so Castiel took it to heart.


	3. Don't Go

Dean was standing in the kitchen watching the pot. The water was just beginning to bubble, it would be a few more minutes before he would put the pasta in though. He looked over his shoulder at Sammy sprawled out on the floor with paper and crayons.

"What'cha coloring?" Dean asked.

"Batman fighting a wendigo." Sammy said beaming up at his brother.

"Wendigos have pointed ears though, you know that." Dean said, pointing to the rounded edges of Sam's wendigo.

"Oh yeah!" Sam smiled and added points to the ears. Dean smiled softly and went back to the stove.

"It won't boil if you keep staring at it." Sammy said coming over and offering Dean some crayons. "Will you draw the batman symbol for me?"

"I showed you how, don't you remember?" He followed Sam back to the paper and sat with him and showed him again how to draw it. Sam followed his movements intently, copying it down until they both had little crayon bats.

"I'm naming this one Spooks." Sammy said, holding up his.

"Spooks is a good name, what about this one?" Dean asked.

"You have to name it, you drew it." Sam laughed. Dean looked at it a bit trying to think of a name.

"Spot." Dean said. Sammy laughed and started drawing a new picture of Spooks and Spot going on an adventure of some kind. Dean smiled, watching him for a bit before there was a knock at the door. Dean's smile faded as he and Sammy both grabbed shotguns and stalked closer to the door. Dean snuck over to the window and peeked through before letting out a sigh both of relief and annoyance. He opened the door.

"Dean!" The boy from the other day smiled. Some of Dean's annoyance ebbed out of him.

"How did you find me?" Dean frowned, barring the boy and what appeared to be his brother from entering.

"My brother Gabriel and I have been looking for you." The boy said, a blush rising to his cheeks. "I never got to tell you my name."

"You can't be here. If my dad finds out he'll be mad." Dean said. Castiel looked hurt, and Gabe sighed, putting a hand on Cas's shoulder.

"I told you Cassie, a human's a human." Gabe said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean frowned.

"It means we're second class citizens because we were born a little different and you shouldn't've gotten his hopes up that you might be different." Gabe said pointing an accusing finger at Dean.

"Don't go wiggling that finger at me all high and mighty, I'm not allowed to have guests, my dad gets mad. Doesn't matter that he's a celestial," He motioned to Cas. "Or that you're a dick." He pointed at Gabe. "So you can just fuck right off if you wanna be a douche." Dean huffed and went to close the door but Cas stepped forward again. He blocked Dean from closing the door and looked at him earnestly.

"My name is Castiel, I'd like to sincerely thank you for helping me the other day." Castiel said with a shy smile.

"I can meet up with you later if you want, but leash your brother, okay?" Dean said.

"I'd like that. The meeting up, not trying to put a leash on Gabriel." Castiel looked happy, and a little confused at the idea of leashing his brother.

"The curb where I found you, tomorrow at 3." Dean said.

"In the morning or the afternoon?" Cas said, nodding with determination.

"Afternoon." Dean laughed. "See ya." He waved as Cas walked away, watching the blue eyes keep flicking back to look at him as they left. When he closed the door he saw Sam with a huge grin and big eyes watching him.

"Sooooo who was thaaaaaat?" Sam asked pawing at his brothers arm.

"Shut up or I'm not making you dinner." Dean said walking back to the kitchen, putting his gun down at the table on his way.

"Was that your boooooooooyfriend?" Sam followed him, continuing to paw at his arm like a dog begging for treats.

"Maybe I should just make you for dinner. Get in this pot." Dean huffed, turning to Sam and trying to grab him. Sam laughed and screamed and ran away and they chased each other for a bit. If Dean caught Sam he would try to carry him to the kitchen but let Sam get away and chase him down again. They were on the floor laughing with rug burns on their knees and elbows and stomach cramps from laughing so much when the door opened. John's glare shot through them and they both bolted up, smiles lost.

"Dean where's dinner?" John barked.

"Just about to put the pasta in sir." Dean said hurrying to the kitchen but John caught him by the arm, halting him, his big angry eyes boring into Dean's small body.

"It's my fault, I asked him for help with my drawing." Sam piped up moving closer hesitantly.

"Dean doesn't have time for silly shit like coloring." John snarled, his anger only boiling hotter. Dean felt his body stop shaking, he knew what was next. John dragged him roughly outside and popped open the trunk, shoving Dean inside.

"Dad no! It's too hot!" Sam protested. Dean heard the slap of skin on skin.

"Get back inside." John snarled as keys jingled in the lock. Darkness, the throbbing in his arm where John's hand had been, the heat rapidly increased. He closed his eyes and forced the tears not to fall, but the lump in his throat felt like it was choking him. The frustration, that was more unbearable than anything else at the moment. He didn't know how long he was there, he assumed it was night as the heat stopped increasing and leveled off. There was a noise, soft clicking, and then the turn of the lock. Someone was picking the lock, John had never left him in the trunk for such a short time. The trunk opened and Sammy's chubby little face swam into view, hazy and not looking entirely solid.

"Dean, are you okay?" Sam said, helping to pull Dean out of the trunk.

"Dad will-"

"Shut up about dad okay?" Sammy looked away as tears started to well in his eyes.

"Is your cheek okay? Did you ice it?" Dean asked.

"I'm fine, lets just go okay?" Sam said, looking up at Dean with hope in his eyes.

"Go? Where?" Dean asked.

"Anywhere. Let's just run away."

"We can't just run away." Dean huffed.

"Why not?"

"Dad would-"

"Shut up about dad!" Sam shouted, moving away from Dean and glaring at him. "I'm going, are you coming or not?" Dean looked at Sam for a long time before looking over his shoulder at the door.

"Go then. I didn't need you anyway." Dean said, feeling the lump return. His eyes burned and he willed with every fiber of his small body that when he turned back around Sammy would still be there. That he'd agree to come back inside and stay with him.

"Goodbye Dean." Sam said softly. Dean felt the tears finally fall.


	4. Big Brother Inbound

Dean stood and stretched, his whole body ached but he had to keep going. When John woke the morning after Sammy left Dean told him he tried to stop him. That had not been satisfactory to John. Dean felt his body, checking for injuries and making a list of what held priority when he began his first aid. He had to pop his shoulder back in, that was the first thing on his list, he found small sticks and splinted his broken fingers, before flopping back on the grass. The gravestones around him left him feeling eerie. He stood and felt the dirt begin to fall off him, he was grateful it was a dry day. After the initial shock of Sammy's absence, and the initial punishment, John went from unbridled rage to a look of hollow hate. He'd thrown Dean in the trunk and driven to the cemetery. After saying something about increasing his training John had buried Dean in a little wooden crate and told him to get out. It had taken Dean a long time, but he was out. He thought of Sam, wondered if he was happy. He didn't know where he was, so he just started walking. He continued walking well into the night before moving to the side of the road and curling up under a bush.

"Cassie?" A familiar voice snapped Dean awake and he jumped up, holding his uninjured arm in front of him to shield his face. Gabrel stepped back as Cas came trotting over.

"D-Dean?" Cas looked horrified.

"Where am I? Which way to the motel?" Dean asked, looking away.

"What happened?" Cas said in a small voice.

"Nothing! Which way?" He demanded.

"I'll walk him there, don't tell anyone we found him." Gabe said nodding to Cas. Cas looked between the two of them before slumping and walking off. Dean glared at Gabe.

"Which way."

"This way slugger." Gabe pointed.

They walked in silence for a long time before Dean piped up.

"I know I fucked up." Dean huffed. "You gonna hit me for missing my date with Cas?" Dean looked at Gabe.

"I'm a lover Dean-o, not a fighter." Gabe said with no trace of a smile. "Think of me as the cupid on your shoulder."

"Fuck off." Dean grumbled.

"Apparently you need it Romeo. Should've let Cas take you home. Play doctor." Gabe offered Dean a saucy wink, the smile now clear.

"I need to get home, my dad will be mad I took so long."

"Do everything daddy says?" Gabe asked. Dean stopped and turned to glare at Gabe. "What if I told you I knew where Sammy was?" Gabe asked. Dean's glare faded to an expression of hurt and he turned away.

"Just tell me if he's safe."

"He is."

"That's all I need." Dean resumed walking.

"I like that about you Dean-o. Makes you a good soldier. Yes Sir! Right away Sir!" Gabe snapped his heels together and saluted.

"If that's what I have to do to keep Sammy safe." Dean said. That gave Gabe pause.

"I didn't expect you to be so stupid." Gabe said.

"Don't worry, I find new and exciting ways to show it all the time." Dean said with a smirk.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

"If I don't get back soon my dad will be mad."

"From the sounds of it he's always mad." Gabe said. Dean let out a bitter laugh. They continued walking for a while before Dean slowed, looking up at the sun.

"Awfully hot." He said before collapsing.


	5. Hospitalized

"Sir your son has suffered many broken bones, a dislocation, a severe concussion, dehydration, and is malnourished. We cannot discharge him."

Dean opened his eyes and saw a woman in scrubs holding a clipboard.

"He's fine." John snarled.

"His x rays show a pattern of injuries and I've notified the police, they will be here soon to ask you some questions and he will not be allowed to go with you." The nurse said. John looked past her and at Dean and shot him a glare that said as soon as she leaves we're bolting, don't talk to anyone. The nurse moved between them. He stalked off. She sighed and turned to look at him. Noticing him awake she came in the room.

"You have some visitors, if you're feeling up for it. Two celestial boys around your age." She said. He nodded so she went to get them. Cas and Gabe came in.

"So let's see, black eye, concussion, dislocated shoulder, three broken fingers, malnourishment, two bruised ribs, your kneecap shifted, and you get dropped by not enough water." Gabriel said, ticking things off on his fingers.

"Stop Gabriel." Castiel said looking distressed as he moved to Dean's side. "How do you feel?"

"I've had worse." Dean forced a smile. "I didn't really need the hospital."

"You didn't need a hospital like an idiot doesn't need to think." Gabe snorted.

"The nurse said your dad was going to be arrested for hurting you." Cas said. "Did he really hurt you?"

"Nothing I didn't need." Dean looked away from Cas.

"Do I need to beat some sense into you? Are you really that stupid?" Gabe snapped. "How would you feel if your dad hit Cas?" Dean shot him a glare. "Exactly, so why are you so eager to let him hit you?"

"I should've made Sammy stay. I'm supposed to keep him safe, and I failed. This is what happens." Dean shrugged, an awkward movement with his one arm partially immobilized.

"Cas leave." Gabe said. Cas looked urgently between the two before sighing and going to wait in the hall. "Listen here you absolute fucking dumbass." Gabriel said. "You're a kid, kids fuck up, that's what they're supposed to do. None of this keep someone safe shit, that's supposed to be his job, so fuck you. Your job is to keep yourself safe, and to be a dumb kid and to live long enough to take my stupid kid brother out on a date. So if you can square up and stop being a dumb shit dick head and go make my brother smile or you can fuck off because I'm not letting Cas get with someone who is such a glutton for punishment they blame themselves for things outside of their abilities." Gabe glared at him a bit longer before turning. "I'm going to get Cas. You two set a time and place to meet or so help me."

Cas came in the room shortly thereafter with a look of shame. Dean wondered if Gabe told him off too. "I'm sorry this happened Dean." Cas said softly.

"It's not your fault." Dean smiled. "Hey, when I get out of here do you think we can catch that date I missed?" Cas looked surprised but smiled.

"I'd like that." Cas looked like he wanted to take Dean's hand but was afraid because of the broken fingers. The door slammed open and John rushed in.

"Lets go." John said.

"Dad, this is-"

"Get up! Let's go!" John snapped impatiently.

"Dad, stop. This is Cas." Dean said firmly.

"How do you know a celestial boy?" John asked, anger hinting at the edges of his voice.

"I just wanted you to meet him." Dean said.

"Say goodbye, because it's time to go." John said, pulling Dean up by his wrist.

"Dad wait!" Dean struggled against John but was dwarfed by the much larger man.

"Excuse me Mister Dean's dad, he doesn't want to go." Cas said moving between John and the door.

"Move kid." John snarled, moving to swipe Cas out of the way. Dean leapt forward and took the brunt of the hit.

"Don't you hurt him." Dean growled up at John as blood trickled out of his mouth. John looked up and saw the officers coming to the room and shoved Dean to the ground, and rushed out the door. Dean looked up at Cas with a soft expression, Cas found it confusing.


	6. Sleepover

Dean was discharged a week later into the care of Gabriel who used a fake ID to say he was 21. Gabriel brought Dean to the place Cas and he lived together. They had lots of family, Cas said, in this trailer park, Cas was one of the youngest. Gabe used to live with Cas's oldest brothers but got his own trailer, so he lived on the outskirts of the park. Cas lived with some of the other kids his age and insisted Dean stay with him. The first night there they were going to bed and Dean looked at the small mattress.

"I can sleep on the floor." Dean said.

"No if anyone sleeps on the floor it'll be me." Castiel said firmly.

"You're not sleeping on the floor."

"Then we share." Castiel said. Dean nodded and sat on the edge of the bed and looked up at Cas. "I can let you borrow some clean clothes but they all have slits for my wings." He said.

"That's fine, I don't usually sleep with a shirt." Dean said. Cas nodded and got him a pair of pajama pants, they were pale blue with little cats sitting on clouds peppered on them. Dean looked at Cas with a bland expression. "Cas why do you have these?"

"They're hand-me-downs. Very comfortable." Cas smiled before getting a pair for himself.

"Do you want me to undo the straps for your wings?" Dean asked. Cas looked over his shoulder at him.

"Y-yes please." Cas said with a blush. "Please be gentle."

"Of course." Dean smiled and put a hand on Cas's wings. They were warm, and the feathers felt softer than anything he'd ever felt. He slid his hand down until he reached the first strap and undid it, feeling the leather slide off. He repeated that for the other two straps, the last of which let Cas's wings pop open a little. Dean rubbed slow circles on the spots where the buckles had rested, careful not to move any feathers in the wrong direction.

"Knock knock, Cassie it's your favorite brother." Gabe said, popping in. He froze, eyes wide, smile fading. "Cas you dirty boy, it's his first night out of the hospital." Gabe grinned.

"It's not like that!" Cas protested, face beet red.

"I'm just taking off his straps." Dean said, looking confused.

"I'm not here to judge, just wanted to make sure you guys were cool here. Or hot I guess." He snickered.

"That's not all you're here to say." Dean said, clearly annoyed.

"Oh I guess if you wanna cut the fun and get straight to business, I should also tell you Sammy's here." Gabe said, sighing.

"What? He was here the whole time?" Dean asked, standing and looking urgently at Gabe.

"Do you want him to see you all beat up?" Gabe asked. Dean's excitement ebbed out of him. "I didn't think so. When you're healed up I'll bring him over, okay?"

"Thank you Gabe." Castiel said.

"Go get your freak on Cassie boy!" Gabe said grinning and giving him two thumbs up before leaving.

"I apologize for my brother." Cas said, turning to Dean with a sigh.

"Let's just get some shut eye, okay?" Dean smiled and they got in bed. Cas draped a wing over Dean and it felt like a light blanket but kept the cool night air coming in from the open windows off just enough. "Cas, you awake?" Dean murmured a few hours later.

"What is it Dean?" Cas asked sleepily.

"I think you're my best friend."

"I appreciate that, you are my best friend as well." Cas said. Dean smiled. A bit later he stirred once more.

"Hey Cas?"

"Yes Dean?"

"What did Gabe mean when I was taking the straps off your wings?"

"The wings are sensitive, having them touched can be erotic to some." Cas mumbled through his sleepy haze.

"Was it...erotic to you?" Dean asked.

"It felt soothing more than anything else, to let them relax for the first time all day, and have you massage the parts where the straps pinch the most."

"I'm glad." Dean smiled.

"Good night Dean."

"Gnight Cas."


	7. Carry On

Day to day was strange to Dean. He woke with Cas and the two worked. Not the hunting and trapping and danger that working entailed when he helped his father, but a more traditional sense. The compound, for that's what it looked like from Dean's perspective, was like a contained ecosystem. They had a garden where they grew food, a chicken coop, and a goat named Mrs. Stinky. Dean helped Cas with his chores, mostly with the chickens. The older kids kept the goat and the littlest kids helped with the garden, which meant the middle kids worked the chickens. Not that there were a lot of chickens, or much to do to help them, just that's what they did in the morning and at night. Dean and Cas would wake up and let them out of their coop into their little fenced area, and put out their water, and at night they would coral them back into their coop and check for eggs. In between they were free to do as they liked, so Dean and Cas usually went to the woods where Dean taught Cas much of what he knew. Trapping and hunting, how to make things with the wood to help, how to clean and cook the meat, how to fish. Time went quickly, they fell into a rhythm. One night, Dean had lost track of how many nights he'd been there but it had been a little over a month, he thought how strange it was to feel so easy in this life. Like it was here waiting for him to fall into it. The sudden realization of his comfort made him anxious, he wasn't a house cat, he was a street cat. At least that's what John always told him. Dean felt his muscles tense and his back straighten at the thought of his father.

"Dean?" Cas looked at him with confusion and concern in his big blue eyes.

"Let's go out." Dean said, feeling the need to defy this comfort, to prove he still had some of that street cat in him. Not to prove his father right, but to prove that he was strong enough to protect what he'd found. He wanted to protect Cas. His past felt like a threat, some monster encroaching, claws out, ready to swallow him every second he felt so at ease.

"Where?"

"I dunno." Dean grabbed his coat and hovered by the door. The others in the camper stirred, watching him. Cas followed him out the door and they clicked it shut quietly behind them. Dean took Cas's hand lest he get lost in the dark and they wound their way out of the camp to the woods. They wandered the woods for a bit before finding themselves at the little creek. They'd been here before, Dean spotted the rock they sat on to fish, and the fallen tree they'd pulled bark off of for a cooking fire. The moonlight filtered through the leaves casting a dim light on the water. Dean went to the bank and put a hand in. It was ice cold and stung his skin. He held it there to prove he could still handle the pain, scrunching his eyes closed and pursing his lips.

"Dean?"

Dean pulled his hand back out and flicked the water off seeing his skin redden. "C'mere." Dean waved Cas to come closer and Cas complied, although his look of concern and confusion was still prevalent. Dean gently undid the buckle.

"Dean, no." Cas tried to pull away.

"It's okay, no one's out here and if they are it's too dark for them to see." Dean said.

"It's not allowed." Cas said looking over his shoulder at Dean.

"Please? I want to see your feathers in the moonlight." Dean's hands stilled, resting on the curved exterior of his wings, they were tucked tightly against his back, the bottom most buckle undone and hanging limp. The request was sweet, endearing, innocent and for a moment Cas was going to say yes. But then Gabe's voice was in his head, "_You know that's a bad idea without me having to tell you that, right?_"

"Dean, it's not safe." Cas said in a soft voice.

"Okay." Dean sighed and his hands drop. He felt this need to be out here, to be wild and untamed and prove that he was still able to protect what he loved. He wanted Cas to feel that too, to experience that need with him, but Cas rejected that. He felt worry creep into him, worry that he'd pushed things too far, that Cas would push him away for this little stunt. Would they kick him out? This request, what he was doing was dangerous. They'd be right to kick him out. He looked at the water as he felt anxiety swell in his stomach making him want to throw up. Cas's hand was on his. Cas's hand was warm, like his wings. He was a comforting warmth, and his still wet and very cold hand appreciated the warmth.

"I'm sorry Dean, I can show them to you when we get back to the trailer if you'd like. I don't understand why we're out here but we can stay as long as you like." Cas offered him a smile.

"You're not mad?" Dean asked.

"No Dean. It's okay to be curious about things, you did the right thing by asking me first. I appreciate that, and I appreciate the sentiment." Cas said with a smile. He brought Dean's hand up and pressed it against his cheek and Dean felt the warmth spread back into his fingers. "Your hand is cold."

"Let's go back." Dean said after his hand had stopped tingling.

"I can carry you back if your knee is hurting." Cas offered.

"I don't think you can carry me." Dean laughed.

"It'd have to be like a baby because if I put you over my shoulder it'd upset your ribs and if it was on my back it'd hurt your shoulder."

"I don't think you can lift me let alone carry me all the way back." Dean laughed and took Cas's hand to walk him back to the trailer.

"I can!" Cas pulled him to a stop.

"Ok we can bet on it." Dean turned around with a grin. "When I win I want pie." He said.

"I can make you a pie anytime though." Cas said with a laugh.

"Well what do you want if you win?" Dean asked.

"A kiss." Cas said smiling as the blush spread across Dean's cheeks. "Do you accept?" Cas asked. Dean looked away for a moment, trying to compose himself. He needed to say something cool to make up for blushing like an idiot.

"I can make you a… kiss anytime…" Dean fumbled. Unsuccessful attempt at regaining cool status complete he allowed Cas to scoop him up. He felt a veil and white dress would be the only things to make this worse as he felt as uncool as he ever had in his entire life. Cas made it back to the trailer without so much as a hint of fatigue. Dean felt that Cas's display with so clearly little effort expended drove home the point that he was the most uncool, but being impressed overrode that thought a moment later.

"Are celestials… strong?" Dean asked. He didn't know if that was an insensitive question, or maybe something obvious he'd just missed, but he felt some need to justify Cas's apparent sudden abilities.

"No, but working on a farm builds up some muscle." Cas chuckled. "I can still make you a pie though, all you had to do was ask."

"No, you won fair and square." Dean shook his head.

"You don't have to...if you don't want to." Cas said looking away.

"Hey," Dean moved so Cas had his back to the cool metal walls of the trailer. Dean put a finger under Cas's chin to position him optimally. "I never said that." Dean's voice was soft.

"Dean-" Cas was blushing furiously, his big blue eyes watching Dean as if trying to transcribe every detail to memory. His freckles, the exact shade of green his eyes looked in the moonlight, the soft red on his nose and cheeks, whether it was blush or cold, the pinkness of his lips, the shade of tan his skin was from working and roaming and general adventuring. Before Cas could lean in and receive his prize Dean slid his palms up Cas's arms to grip his shoulders. He slowly turned so Cas was facing the trailer and then Cas heard jingling. Dean was undoing his straps, but more importantly, his mouth was on Cas's neck. Warm breath gently caressed Cas's neck before Dean pecked the skin with the lightest of kisses. Cas's breath hitched. There was only one strap left since Dean had never done up the one he'd opened at the creek. His fingers worked deftly, the only noise came from the metal and then it too topped free allowing Cas's wings to open up slowly. Another kiss, this time on the arch of his jawline, the hard bone under feeling softened by the gentle touch of Dean's attention. Cas felt his stomach twist in anticipation. Dean moved slowly up to leave a kiss on Cas's cheek, his eyes closed, long lashes fluttering as he stepped back. He turned Cas around again, looking through heavily lidded eyes at Cas who grabbed fistfuls of Dean's shirt. Technically it was Cas's shirt that Dean was borrowing, but everything looked so right on Dean it might as well be Dean's shirt. Cas felt his heartbeat quicken, he'd asked for a kiss but didn't say where, could Dean had loopholed his way out of his prize? Did he not want to kiss him? Cas looked urgently at Dean but Dean showed no signs of stopping, his hands moving to Cas, palms flat on Cas's chest, sliding up to relax his shoulders, one hand continued up to his neck while the other moved past the shoulders to feel Cas's wing. Dean tipped Cas's chin to face him while his other hand moved from wing to hip to pull Cas in.

"I didn't want our first kiss to be with your wings bound." Dean said in a soft voice. "They look just as beautiful in the moonlight as I expected." And with that he moved in, his lips were soft, his movements were gentle, he allowed room for Cas to do what he wanted but firm enough to take the lead if Cas did nothing. Cas moved closer, pressing his body against Dean's and felt Dean's arms curl around his waist, holding him tight.

The moonlight was stunning on Cas's ebony feathers. The veins of his primaries reflected the light to look like shooting stars on a night sky, they hung around the two boys like a blanket of night, shielding and concealing and stretched and retracted as the two moved. One pulled in to hold Dean as he reached out to touch it, its twin hung above them. The breaths of the boys came out in little clouds from the cold night air, brushing gently past them, beyond them, into the night sky.


	8. Pie Pains

"Pie." Dean said. Cas blinked slowly, he sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and pushed the blanket off. "We're going into town and we're going to get pie."

"Okay." Cas said getting out of bed slowly. They both got dressed and did their morning chores before heading into town. The cluster of trailers wasn't far from the heart of the town, it was outside its limits though so as to be separate from the townsfolk. Dean held tight to Cas's hand as they walked around before finding a diner. Dean had been collecting coins for a while, he had a jar full of change and took it to the bank. After converting it he had a solid $18.52 which was enough for them to both get food, but in case it wasn't he had a credit card in his father's name.

"Table for two please." Dean smiled at the woman in the front of the restaurant behind the podium.

"Where's your parents?" She asked.

"I have money, my dad dropped us off." Dean said.

"We don't serve unsupervised celestials." The woman said shooting a disgusted sneer at Cas.

"I didn't ask you to serve him, I asked for a table." Dean said.

"Please leave or we'll call the cops." She said pointing to a sign saying they reserved the right to refuse service.

"We didn't do anything wrong." Dean huffed but Cas tugged his hand. Dean grumbled but allowed Cas to pull him out of the diner. "What the hell?" Dean demanded.

"I'm sorry Dean but most places in this town will tell you the same thing." Cas said apologetically.

"But why? We've done nothing wrong." Dean demanded.

"Celestials are not viewed favorably and people think we will damage property or goods." Castiel explained. "But I can make you a pie at home." He offered.

"Pie tastes better when you don't have to put effort into it." Dean huffed. "There's got to be some place around here that will sell to us."

"I fear that of those who may forgive my condition they may see our...relationship and rethink their amnesty." Cas said.

"Being a celestial isn't a condition and what has our relationship got to do with anything?" Dean seemed to be getting more agitated.

"Perhaps it would be better if you went in and got the pie and I waited outside."

"And let you be attacked or kidnapped?" Dean huffed.

"I can protect myself, I'm not as feeble and meek as you seem to think I am." Cas said.

"You shouldn't have to protect yourself, you're just a kid." Dean huffed pulling Cas along to the next restaurant. Every one he went to told him the same thing he then went to a grocery store where he found an entire pie in the freezer section but when the two boys got up to the front to pay the boy behind the counter regarded them with skepticism.

"You boys stealin?" He narrowed his eyes at them.

"There's nothing to steal here." Dean snapped back.

"Empty yer pockets." He pointed at them.

"What? No. Why?" Dean frowned.

"Probably stuffed things in his wings." A woman pointed at Cas.

"His straps are too tight to let that happen, also what stuff?" Dean asked, confused.

"Come on, empty yer pockets tha both o' ya." The boy demanded.

"Check his wings too." The woman came over, she wore a red vest while the boy had a blue one. She was the manager.

"We're not stealing." Dean huffed pulling out his pockets showing he had nothing. Cas did the same, lips a tight line, eyes down.

"Now the wings." The woman grabbed Cas by one of his wings and began yanking on the straps.

"Get off him!" Dean shoved the woman away moving between her and Cas.

"Told ya, it's always the wings." She said to the boy. "Call the cops." He got out a phone and began dialing.

"There's nothing in his wings, I can undo the straps to prove it." Dean said.

"Let the cops deal with the thieves." The woman sneered.

"There's nothing in this shitty place worth stealing! My dad just sent us in to get a pie for my little brother's birthday please." Dean used his best pity me face but the man and woman were both glaring at Cas who had tears begging to fall from his big blue eyes. Dean pulled Cas in and hugged him.

"Don't let them see you cry." Dean whispered. "I'll handle it." Cas nodded against his chest. When the town sheriff got there he put Cas in the back of his car and Dean in the front and drove them to the station without a word. He cuffed Cas to a chair at his desk while Dean sat on the other side.

"What's the problem?" He asked finally.

"I was trying to buy a pie for my birthday, my dad gave me his card because he had to work but the lady said we were stealing and tried to pull off Cas's straps but we knew that was illegal so I wouldn't let her. She said he had stolen stuff in his wings." Dean explained in a rush. The sheriff nodded and turned Cas around and undid his straps. His hands were firm but not rushed or violent. After they were off he spread Cas's wings before returning the straps.

"I'll file the report, it's a civil matter so they probably won't pursue it, just go home." The man said uncuffing Cas.

"Thank you." Dean said before the two took hands and left. Outside Cas moved to the side of the building before he fell to the ground and let the sobs begin to rack his body.

"I'm so sorry." Dean held him tightly until his crying subsided. "I know that was scary, I'm sorry it was my fault I should've listened to you."

"I told you I could make you pie at home." Cas said through sniffles.

"It's just good we got a nice cop." Dean said trying to be reassuring.

"He was nice to you." Cas said as the two stood.

"What do you mean?" Dean looked confused.

"Nice would be taking reports from everyone at the scene not parading me off just because I'm a celestial. I'm a person not a show pony." Cas was upset.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Dean recounted the events in his head. The sheriff had only spoken to Dean, like he was Cas's keeper or something. He took Cas's hand, promising himself to pay better attention to all the details next time. They were walking home when Cas paused.

"Thank you for taking care of me Dean." Cas said. "In the heat of the moment I suppose I forgot to say that. Had you not been there I fear things would have been much worse for me."

"Had I not forced you to go there things would have been fine. But you know, _it was the heat of the moment_." Dean sang the whole rest of the way home.


	9. The Sighting

A/N: This chapter has a description of a panic attack, this is not indicative of all panic attacks, it is drawn from personal experiences. If you suffer from panic attacks please seek help and if a description of an attack might be triggering from you skip this chapter.

Gabriel was walking them home from the hospital after Dean's check-up when they saw a man standing just outside the fence surrounding the trailer park. Dean stopped. He felt his feet backpedal but when he looked down they weren't moving. Everything felt slow as the man looked at them, his brown eyes, brown hair, deep frown as if set in his face with a chisel into stone, hands in his pockets. Cas turned to look at him, wondering why he had stopped. Dean felt his body react the way it always did, his back straightened, his face hardened, his heels moved together, he looked at Cas and opened his mouth but no words came out. His mouth felt unbearably dry, he'd had water at the hospital, and Cas had been monitoring his intake. Dean felt his mind wander to when he'd started staying with the celestials how Cas kept a list written in a notepad on a clipboard of how much and when Dean drank water. Dean had huffed but Cas insisted for the first three days before he eased up. Dean wondered where Cas left that clipboard, if it was on the dresser next to the bed they shared. He felt his knee ache and his hands sweat. His heartbeat felt like it was pounding in his ears, was it hot? Was the sun directly in his eyes? He blinked trying to clear the light but his vision swam making the ground look like it was swaying under him. "Dean?" Cas was looking at him. Distressed, anxious, urgent, his hand in Dean's tugged, his big blue eyes moved into Dean's direct line of sight. Dean opened his mouth again but still no words came out, he wanted to run, he felt like he couldn't breathe. "Dean, look at me." Cas said catching Dean's face in his hands to force Dean to look at him. "You're having a panic attack, I'm going to sit you down, just try taking a deep breath." Cas said putting one hand on Dean's chest and one on his back to guide him down. "Gabe, go tell that man to leave, and get Dean some water." Cas's voice said, Dean closed his eyes and tried to focus on his breathing. Cas was right; he was panting, fast like a dog. He focused on slowing it, he felt Cas's hands on him, one on his shoulder, one grabbing his hand, squeezing it a little too tight. He opened his eyes. Cas was there. "Focus on your breathing, focus on me." Cas said, putting a hand on Dean's chest. "In, and out. Slowly, in through your nose, out through your mouth. Feel it in your stomach, in and out." Cas said putting Dean's hand just below his ribs. "I won't let anything happen to you, I won't leave you, you're safe, just breathe." Cas said. Dean closed his eyes and put his head on Cas's shoulder.

"How's he doing?" Gabe asked.

"Better." Cas said. Gabe took Dean's hand and pressed a cup of water into it. Dean gulped it down like he was starved for it.

"The man left, he wasn't the type to leave for good though so we're going to have to deal with it properly at some point. Cas and I can handle it if you aren't up for it Dean-o." Gabe said.

"I'll do it." Dean said, standing up with Cas's help.

"Lets just go in and sit, I think you and Sammy should talk." Gabe said. Dean nodded. Cas and Dean walked to Gabe's trailer while Gabe went ahead to prepare Sam. When they got there Gabe and Sam greeted them at the door. Gabe with a smile, Sam however, ran up and hugged Dean. Dean felt tears in his eyes as he hugged his brother back.

"Heyya Sammy." Dean said.

"Gabe said you were sick and I couldn't come visit you but I went and looked in the windows at you sometimes." Sam said.

"Just back from the doctor and we got the green light." Dean said, giving Gabe a small smile and nod.

"Let's sit inside." Gabe said ushering them all into his house.

"Listen Sammy, when you ran away Dad got really mad." Dean said. Sam looked upset but before he could pipe up Dean continued. "It's not your fault, I'm glad you got out and came here. I've been here too and I know this is a good place. We can stay here if you want, but Dad came today and I don't think he's going to leave so easy next time." Dean said.

"We can call the police." Sam said.

"We're only here because the hospital didn't look into Gabe's ID so until he's actually old enough we should steer clear." Dean said.

"We can just tell him we want to stay." Sam said.

"I'm not sure he'll give up so easily." Dean said, his view of John vastly varied from Sam's. "I'm going to take care of it, if you see him I want you to hide, okay?"

"Hide?" Sam looked confused.

"I have a plan, do you trust me?" Dean asked. Sam nodded. "Gabe, you keep an eye out for him and if the man from earlier comes back you get Sammy hidden." Dean said. Gabe nodded but also looked like he wanted to know the plan. "Cas, can you take care of my chores for tomorrow? I don't think I'll be back until late, I have to prepare some things."

"Of course Dean." Castiel said. Dean looked each of them in the eyes before he nodded and left. The three sat there in an uncomfortable silence for a while before Cas left.


	10. Coming and Going

Castiel found sleeping in his bed alone to be difficult, he also realized he'd been so spoiled with Dean putting his straps on in the morning and taking them off at night before rubbing soft circles on the spots where the buckles rested before bed every night. He sat up and pushed the blanket off, unsure of what he was doing but feeling suffocated doing nothing. He emerged from the trailer and spread his wings as wide as they could go. Letting them hang in the air behind him felt so good so he kept them expanded as he walked to Gabriel's trailer. Knocking on the door he pulled them in, not all the way but being less glaring about it. Gabriel opened the door, his own wings out of their bindings, gold feathers gleaming in the light from a small table lamp. "Cassie, what's up?" Gabe asked, allowing Castiel in. Sam rubbed his eyes looking over at them. "It's okay Sammy, go back to sleep." Gabriel said. Sam nodded and laid back down. He was on a little cot set up where the driver's seat would have been.

"Sorry to bother you, I just couldn't sleep." Castiel said.

"You can stay here tonight, I don't think I'll get any sleep either." Gabriel shrugged.

"Are you worried about Dean?" Castiel asked, looking genuinely curious.

"No, I'm prepared for if he fails, because then John will be coming for Sammy." Gabe said. Cas looked at the door with wide eyes, he hadn't considered this. Gabe handed Cas a book and Cas tried to focus enough to read it, Gabe did the same.

"Gabriel, the woman keeps calling the man Daddy, I am confused." Cas said.

"You and Dean never roleplay?" Gabe asked. Cas looked confused. "Pretending you're someone else to excite a different sexual desire."

"Dean and I have only kissed." Cas said, looking confused.

"Taking it slow is okay I guess." Gabe said. "How good is Dean-o at kissing?"

"I have nothing to compare it to but I find it pleasing." Cas said.

"Deanandra was your first kiss?" Gabe asked, looking excited.

"Yes I won a bet and asked him to kiss me." Cas said.

"How forward of you Cassie!" Gabe looked scandalized. "I'm so proud."

They chatted quietly and read some but for the most part neither could focus for thoughts lingering on Dean and his success.

In the morning Castiel went out to look for Dean and found him sitting on a chair by the main gate to the park. He walked over and put a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Did you sleep at all?" Castiel asked.

"No." Dean looked up at Cas. "Damn Cas, did you?" Dean stood and took Cas's face in his hands.

"I found it difficult to sleep without you." Cas said.

"Well it's not like sleeping together has been a cake walk." Dean smirked.

"What do you mean? I enjoy sleeping with you." Cas tilted his head in confusion like a dog. Dean put his hands around Cas's.

"You literally steal all the blankets and then push me out of the bed when I try taking some back." Dean said in mock accusation.

"Only because you pull on my wing like it's a blanket to cover you and then elbow me when I try to roll over." Cas retorted.

"Not to mention that your bed is the size of a kids bed." Dean added.

"It is a kids bed." Cas huffed. Dean smiled and pulled him closer.

"I'm sorry." Dean gave him a soft hug before pulling back. "As soon as this is over we can go take a nap, okay?" Dean asked. "You can have all the blankets and I'll try to keep my elbows to myself."

"That sounds nice Dean." Cas smiled.

"Dean." A gruff voice bit through the soft cloud Dean had been existing in. He felt the lump in his throat and felt his body react but swallowed and held tight to Cas's hand. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath and turned to face his dad.

"Dad." Dean replied.

"Let's go." John said impatiently.

"I'm not going." Dean said.

"I'm not asking."

"No." Dean remained firm.

"Because of a celestial?" John's eyes flicked to Cas and Dean moved to stand between them, glare set in his features.

"I don't really need a reason. I'm staying."

"Enough of this shit Dean I'm not wasting time here, lets go." John snarled, hands curling to fists at his sides. Dean noticed this but had been trained not to react. Being brought up as a soldier he was trained not raised, he was an adult the moment he 'enlisted' and that enlistment was an involuntary draft. He was ready to desert that part of him, and that part of his life. John reached out to grab his arm but Cas deflected his hand. John looked surprised before a vindictive smile spread across his weathered features.

"Who raised you boy? Celestials aren't allowed to raise a hand to humans." John sneered.

"Humans aren't allowed to abuse and neglect their offspring either. But here we are." Gabriel said, moving to stand behind Dean. Dean scanned to make sure Sam wasn't with him. He wondered if his confidence had ever been this high and if that may be a bad omen.

"What, you're going to get some winged twinks to fight your battles?" John barked out a laugh but Dean didn't shake like he always had when John laughed before.

"I took care of you, I took care of Sammy, but it's my turn. I deserve to be happy." Dean said.

"You don't deserve anything _boy_." John spat. "Come before you make me angry."

"That's the problem dad, you're always angry, no matter what I do it's never good enough."

"Because I see potential in you, a potential I had. Come on Dean I lost Mary and Sammy, don't make me lose you too." John looked suddenly very old and very sad. Dean wanted to console him like he had every time John came home drunk and cried about Mary. He'd take care of him and tell him things would be okay and then get him into bed to sleep it off. John would wake up the next morning to a pot of coffee and eggs and bacon and would smile and kiss the boys on the head. It was hard remembering things sometimes. Things that were soft and made you feel sweet inside and want to forget the rest of the darkness that surrounded that moment. All the beatings and the 'training' and the hate that spewed and spilled and radiated from John. Sammy was blind to it, Dean made sure it never got to him. He always wondered if Sammy saw through it all, he was such a smart boy. Dean looked up at the sky as he felt all the air leave him. All the plans and bravado and confidence left his body.

"Dad, Sammy's safe. He's happy. I'm happy too. I don't remember ever being as happy as I have been this past month." Dean leveled his gaze at John. "If you are my father, not just blood but the dad who loves his sons that will be enough for you. I'll always be your son, and I'll always look out for Sammy but you can't be part of that. For our sake and for yours. We're your liability, remember?" Dean smiled bitterly at the time Dean had been taken by the police for stealing. John had left him there for two weeks before finally coming to get him. Sammy was in the car when John pulled up, honking for him to come get in rather than coming up to the boy's home to get him. He remembers hopping in the car and John berating him for two hours telling him he was a useless idiot, a liability if he was going to get caught he might as well just stay gone. Sammy was playing with a toy train beside him.

"Parents have to make decisions for their kids well being even when the kids don't see it."


	11. Showdown

Dean has always wanted to be wanted. He wanted Sammy to choose him, wanted him to fight and stick up for him as he had done for Sammy so many times. He wanted Sammy to be strong and stay because Dean had done that for so long, but then Sammy ran away.

Dean had small memories of their mother, the beautiful Mary. Sam didn't remember her, but Dean remembers that her hair was long and golden and smelled like strawberries. He remembers that she made the best pies and when John skipped out for a week, as he had done on several occasions, she would make Dean a pie. Dean didn't know if it was to comfort herself, or to comfort him but he appreciated it. He always loved pies. He wanted her to be there, to ruffle his hair or to hold him when he was sad. He wanted to hear her voice, she would sing to him when he couldn't sleep. He wanted to be enough for her. But then John would come back.

Dean wanted to be enough for their father, John was always a hard man both emotionally and to interact with. He was never pleased, did not smile, was not kind or sweet or gentle. He was heavy handed and harsh tongued, but he always made them think the punishment was their fault. He never wanted to do these things to them, why would they make him do this? Dean would always take the blame, no matter what happened. Sammy failed a test? Dean hadn't practiced with him enough. Dinner wasn't ready? Dean had been goofing off. John came home drunk and cried that Mary was dead? Dean should have been there, been stronger, been ready to do something. But despite all that Sam was the favored one. The one to be looked after and cared for. Had Dean not earned that from John? Just a little attention or love or praise?

Dean had always wanted to be the person someone needed. Like he needed Sam. Like he needed John. Like he needed Mary and Cas and even Gabriel. He clung to them in such a desperate attempt to stop them from leaving and then feared that by doing so he was pushing them away. He didn't deserve their attention or love or care, but he needed them so he forced them to give him what he needed. He remembers thinking he was being so good to John, doing so much for him, that must mean John could not be rid of him. What would John do without Dean there to tuck him in, dry his tears, take care of Sammy, put food on the table. He was indispensable. That's why, Dean figured, it was so hard for Dean to say no to John. Saying no meant he was now dispensable.

Dean opened his eyes, the sun was so bright. Was on the ground? He didn't remember falling. His head hurt. Was he dehydrated again? He'd been drinking water! He reached up and touched his head, it felt like a spider web was spreading from a point on his right forehead. Pain was shooting through him, pin pricks signaling a problem. An error, some damage to the host. He pulled his fingers back, red, hot, sticky. Was he bleeding? He looked up and saw Gabriel locked in a scuffle with John. Dean remembered Gabriel saying something about not fighting, but everything seemed so fuzzy it was hard to focus. Cas's face was there suddenly. He was beautiful. Big blue eyes, that was what Dean loved the most about Cas. He always had a bit of red in his pale skinned cheeks. That was cute too. He was saying something, not just a pretty face he guessed.

"Dean, focus on me." Cas said holding Dean steady. The words found Dean like he was at the bottom of the pool, they swam around him lapping at his head. Dean wondered if they could get in through the hole in his head. It hurt so much. He reached up to touch it again but Cas held his hand down. Had Cas always had that bruise around his eye? Dean thought that must be new. He didn't much care for it, he liked Cas the way he was before that addition. Who had done this? Dean demanded to know, or at least he thought he did. The answer was already in him, why couldn't he remember? Why couldn't he remember falling to the ground? He forced himself to his feet and held back bile to face his father. Anger, rage, hate, he could focus on that. John had hurt Cas. Gabriel saw him advancing and shoved John back before moving out of Dean's way. "_How would you feel if your dad hit Cas?_" Gabriel's voice was in his head but Gabriel wasn't speaking. Dean repeated it over and over again in his head. How would he feel? How would he feel if John hit Cas? John hit Cas? How would? Cas? Dean didn't need full control or coherent thought or perfect balance. He'd been trained for this day. He was a soldier. His body had the memory of it, muscles twitching eagerly to display all that they'd learned. Muscle memory, bodily retention of all that John had instilled into him. All the pain all the beatings all the hate he'd poisoned Dean with. Dean let it out. When he opened his eyes John was standing before him, eyes wide. Dean realized the screaming had been him. He'd just walked up and screamed in John's face. He stood up and glared, trying to express all that he felt in a look.

"I'm not going to fight you so if you want to hit me, kill me because I'm not going." Dean said in a calm voice. "If not, leave, don't come back." John looked severely whipped, Gabriel had gotten in some good licks and the marks were beginning to sprout in brilliant colors.

"Dean-"

"I'm not like you." Dean cut in. "I'm ready to die if it means I'm protecting the people I love."

John faltered. He took a step back. They stared at each other for what felt like years. Dean felt his body weakening, his adrenaline was ebbing away like water through his fingers. John at last looked down.

"I never meant to hurt you boys." John said. He stood there as if waiting for a response. As if Dean would laugh and smile and say aw shucks its okay dad lets all go home. The silence hung in the air like a dead weight and Dean started to sway, his knees wobbling dangerously. Then, just like that, John turned and walked down the street to his car. He got in and drove away. The three boys stood there watching. When he was completely out of sight Dean fell to the ground. He felt it this time, it hurt. His knees and palms sent shockwaves of pain through him like lightning. He closed his eyes, praising all that was holy for making the dark, thanking his eyelids for blocking out the light that seemed to be pounding, drilling into his skull. He felt his shoulder hit the ground. It was a cold firm presence against him. He smiled.


	12. Bars and Cuffs

Dean opened his eyes. The smell of bleach and hand sanitizer filled his nose and a steady beeping came from the monitor next to him. He didn't remember how he got here, closing his eyes he tried to recount the events.

"Sleeping beauty awake at last." A voice said.

"Dean!" Another voice said. A hand landed on his arm, small fingers gripped him as if afraid he'd float away. He opened his eyes again and saw Gabriel standing behind Sam. Sammy's big watery hazel eyes looked over him.

"I left Anna in charge in case John calls the cops on us. I doubt he will." Gabriel said.

"What?" Dean pulled himself up into a sitting position.

"Cas brought you here and I went and made sure everything was okay before bringing Sammy here to see you." Gabe said. His tone was very matter-of-fact.

"Cas-"

"Cas got arrested." Sam said as fresh tears welled in his eyes.

"What?!" Dean bolted up.

"You were in bad shape, you needed a hospital fast." Gabe said.

"Where is Cas?" Dean demanded pulling off the heart monitor and anything else tying him down.

"Dean, they took him." Sammy said. Dean ran out of the room, the blaring monitor fading as he ran down the hall. From wandering the town with Cas he had a rudimentary map so after emerging from the hospital he turned right and began running as fast as he could go. The noise of his bare feet slapping the concrete sidewalk solidified the pain each step gave him, but he didn't slow. Right and then left. He ran across the street, heard honking. The asphalt was even more painful. Last right and then the glass doors to the police department. He burst in and saw startled wide eyes. Hands instinctively on guns, faces turned from anger to concern.

"Where is Castiel?" Dean demanded the man at the front desk. The man was frozen, a guy bursting into a police department in nothing but a hospital gown was new to him. "Celestial, black wings, blue eyes, black hair, pale skin, this tall-" Dean motioned.

"Holding." The man pointed. Dean ran to the holding cells but was blocked by an officer.

"Is he hurt? Cas! Are you hurt?" Dean shouted.

"Someone get this kid back to the hospital." The officer said, moving to grab Dean.

"Don't touch me." Dean slid around the man's reach and then slipped past him. He ducked another officer's grasp before one grabbed him by the arm. He yanked it free feeling a familiar pain. It had not been enough time for his shoulder to heal completely, he clutched his arm to his chest and barreled his way to the bars. Cas was sitting in the last cell on the end of the block. He looked up and saw Dean running to him. His eyes went wide. "Cas! Are you okay?" Dean shouted as he slammed chest first into the bars. Three officers pinned him against the bars and he winced in pain as they wrenched his good arm behind him to hold him in place.

"Dean-"

"Are you okay? I'm gonna get you out of here." Dean shouted.

"What are you doing?" Cas stood and took a hesitant step closer. They dragged Dean back and handcuffed him to one of the chairs next to a desk before someone went to call the hospital about a missing patient. Dean looked around desperately before spotting the sheriff who'd brought them in.

"Hey!" He waved to the man trying to entice him over.

"Shut up kid, you're only making it worse for yourself." The man said with a frown.

"You're got my boyfriend in holding and one of the officers dislocated my shoulder." Dean snapped. "I'm clearly not done making things worse."

"He was caught flying without a sponsor." The man said. Then it clicked.

"_You were in bad shape, you needed a hospital fast._" Gabe had said. "_Cas brought you here._"

"He was flying me to the hospital!" Dean snapped. "I would have died had he not done it." Dean said.

"That doesn't mean we can just let him out. He broke the law." The man said.

"What if he had a sponsor?" Dean asked.

"He doesn't, we ran his name." The man said.

"I have money. Can you run it again? Please?" Dean begged. If anyone ever asked he would deny it, but the big green puppy dog eyes he'd learned from Sam and the gentle lean in, it was textbook.

"You don't have money, you're in a hospital gown." The man replied tartly.

"If I can get the money for you would you run it again?" Dean pressed. "I can make a call, have my brother bring it. It was in my pocket. However much it is, I can pay it."

"Make the call." The man moved the desk phone close enough for him to access. He didn't know if Gabriel had a cellphone, so he called the number listed for the hospital.

"I'm the patient who escaped and caused a scene at the police department. Can you have my brother come pick me up? Gabriel or Sam? Can you tell them to bring my clothes so I'm not naked on my way back? I was only in a hospital gown when I left." He felt like his heart was in his stomach but they agreed to do it. Gabriel and Sam were there in less than ten minutes and gave Dean his clothes. Dean rummaged for his wallet before pulling out John Winchester's credit card. He handed it to the officer. Gabriel popped Dean's shoulder back in and the cops uncuffed him. He made a show of apologizing to everyone, saying how sorry he was to cause a scene, didn't know what came over him, must've done something when he hit his head. The officer came back and gave him the paperwork and he scribbled in the information as fast as his little hand could move. Dean went to change and lingered as long as he could in the bathroom.

"As much as I like seeing a nice butt, seeing yours is like being scandalized." Gabriel said. "Let's get you back to the hospital."

"No, wait." Dean looked for the officer. "I have to say goodbye to the officer who let me use his phone." Dean said. The other officers seemed to accept this. Some time went by and Gabe was looking more and more displeased when the officer came back. He gave Dean the card back.

"Hey Dave, can you look up the celestial boy's status? This kid says he was sponsored and that's why he flew him to the hospital." The officer said flicking a thumb at Dean.

"No one in this town would sponsor a celestial, let alone have the money for it." The officer apparently named Dave snorted.

"I'm not from this town." Dean growled. Dave's face started to sneer but the officer who'd helped leaned in.

"Just double check, you know how the system is sometimes." The man said. Dave huffed but ran the name.

"What the-"

"Sponsored?"

"Yeah…" Dave stood.

"Why not go get the kid out of lockup and send him off with his friends?" The officer said. Dave went to do that. Castiel looked confused but came over to Dean to receive a hug from Dean Sam and Gabriel each.

"Thank you." Dean said to the officer.

"Stay out of trouble. I won't be so nice next time." The officer said. Dean nodded and the four walked back to the hospital. The nurse scolded Dean for doing something so stupid and reckless as she put bandages on his feet.

"So let's see, John hit you and you hit the ground so hard you broke your skull-" Gabriel began ticking things off on his fingers.

"A very small fracture." Castiel cut in.

"Re-dislocated your shoulder, ran barefoot on an injured knee, and tore up your feet to cause a scene that didn't need to happen because you could just throw money at it. Is that right?" Gabriel asked.

"The scene was to distract from the money not being mine." Dean said.

"You say that like you thought it through. You absolutely did not. Don't con a conman Dean-o." Gabriel said.

"Cas did you get checked out? You have a black eye." Dean said ignoring Gabriel.

"No, it's just a bruise Dean." Cas said moving to the side of Dean's bed and taking his hand.

"You could have a concussion. You should see a doctor." Dean said. "Did the cops hurt you when they arrested you? Were the cuffs too tight?"

"Dean-" Cas cut in with a sweet smile. "I'm fine." Dean looked at him for a moment before sighing and relaxing.

"I guess I'll take Sammy home. They'll probably hold you overnight but hey, Cas can fly you home, right?" Gabriel grinned.

"Yeah you have free reign of the sky for however long that guy charged me for." Dean grinned. Cas looked at the window with a confused expression.


	13. Free Bird

Dean emerged from the hospital, one head bandage, sling, knee brace, and two foot wraps richer. He had intended to just walk home as Cas had not come to visit or pick him up but noticed the raven haired boy sitting on the curb.

"Brings back memories, huh?" Dean moved to stand next to Cas who looked up with a blank expression.

"Everything has changed since then, Dean." Cas said softly. Dean nodded and looked at the sky.

"So what's the plan then free bird?" Dean asked looking back down at Cas.

"What do you mean?"

"You're free now. You can go anywhere, do anything. Fly off into the sunset. Happy ending, roll credits." Dean said with a bitter smile.

"Is that what you would do?"

"I'd say I want things to go back to the way they were but there was never a time where everything was going right." Dean replied.

"You confuse me sometimes Dean." Cas looked to the road again. Dean looked surprised by this, and struggled to sit next to Cas with his leg brace restricting knee movement. When he was finally settled he took Cas's hand.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked. It wasn't the gentle voice he'd used when asking for permission, or the rough voice he used when thinking about his father, this was private. Something Cas had only experienced on rare occasion, middle of the night questions and when the line between friend and boyfriend was blurring. It was happy, easy, ready to answer any questions, simplicity and trust.

"You call me your boyfriend, but say you're not staying for me. You only kiss me when no ones around and Gabriel says that means we're moving slow. You hold my hand but put yourself in danger when I sacrificed everything to save you…" Cas trailed off, his heat seeming to fizzle the more he spoke, the more Dean smiled back at him.

"You're misremembering. I didn't say I was staying for you I said I don't really need a reason. That doesn't mean I didn't have many reasons, it just means I had no obligation to share them with my dad." Dean said. "You are more than enough reason, but Sam, even Gabe were part of it too, I just didn't want to share that side of my life with him. I only kiss you in private because I didn't want to embarrass you. People get embarrassed with public displays of affection, but I can speed things up if you want." Dean grinned at this and Cas blushed and looked away. Was he being forward again as Gabe said? "And your third point, you saving me was stupid."

"What?" Cas cut in, shocked by this.

"I don't want to live if it's not with you, so if it's between you free, happy, healthy but me dead or reversed I would pick me dead 100% of the time. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but that's just how it is."

"Don't you think I feel the same?" Cas huffed, brows furrowing.

"Tough, I will claw and fight my way to you whether you like it or not." Dean said, giving Cas's hand a squeeze.

"That's not fair."

"How about we both make a deal. Here and now. No self sacrificing, period." Dean said, dropping Cas's hand and turning to him to look directly in his eyes. "We do things together so if one of us bites it we both do." Dean said.

"Is this a cult thing?" Cas asked, looking ready to recoil.

"No it's a together forever thing. I won't put myself in danger if you don't."

"Promise?"

"Only if you do." Dean wiggled his sling bound hand. Cas smiled and shook it, gently so as not to disrupt the immobilized healing. They both stood, this time with Cas helping the struggling Dean.

"Is it weird being able to fly?" Dean asked, looking at Cas's unbound wings.

"I find myself walking places out of habit." Cas confessed.

"We can walk home." Dean offered.

"I want to fly with you awake." Cas chuckled. Dean nodded and allowed Cas to scoop him up before flapping his wings. In moments they were above the town. All the buildings shrank away much to Dean's discomfort. Cas noticed the distress in Dean's face as he stared at the ground. "It's okay, I've done this before." Cas said with a smile. Dean gave him a weak thumb up before Cas began moving in the direction of the trailers. It wasn't far and traveling in a direct line made it significantly quicker. Cas not wanting to end this closeness, flew over the woods they'd spent so much time in, then spiraled down to the ground. Dean saw the wide eyed faces of the other kids as they landed.

"That wasn't as bad as I expected." Dean said with a weak smile. His face had gone pale and he seemed not entirely steady but made a point of leaning in to kiss Cas on the cheek. Cas blushed and looked at him questioningly. "You said you wanted me to kiss you in public."

"Cassie you little saucy spitfire, I learn new and exciting things from you every day." Gabe said from behind them.

"Not like that." Cas said blushing more furiously.

"We should celebrate Deaandra's release." Gabe said. "I'm thinking cake-"

"Pie." Cas cut in. "Dean likes...pie." He trailed off. Gabe grinned and looked at Dean.

"You must have something about you to keep Cas so whipped." Gabe laughed.

"Dean has not hit me-" Cas looked confused.

"It means Deannie's the dominant one and you do what he says." Gabe explained. "Cassandra is… how should I put this delicately… think of a big tough jock. As far as angels go, Cassie is way above his weight class, does that make sense?" Gabe asked.

"I mean I knew he was strong but I figured he was sweet and innocent all the time." Dean shrugged.

"Not all soldiers show it as proudly as you Dean-o." Gabe said softly. "How do you think he got that shiner? Fought your ol man, didn't back down, got hit. He did plenty of hitting back though so don't worry." Gabe added with a laugh. "What, did you think I left all those marks on him? I told you, I'm a lover Dean. Not a fighter." Dean looked at Cas with surprise and Cas looked embarrassed and turned away.

"You fought and were _winning_ against _my _dad?" Dean looked stunned.

"I'm sorry, I just got so angry when he hit you like that." Cas said, looking down at his feet as he pressed the toes of his shoes together, shuffling the dirt beneath his soles.

"No, I'm not mad." Dean laughed and pulled Cas into an abrupt hug. He pulled back and kissed him. Firmly this time, on the lips. Cas blinked in surprise until Dean pulled back. "I'm impressed."

"I told you I was strong." Cas said, not that he was complaining about the reaction.

"Strong and total badass are different." Dean laughed.

"Get a room." Gabriel grinned. "Lets go get Samantha and make some pie." He said before leading them to his trailer.

"That sounds like my flying off into the sunset moment." Dean said softly so only Cas could hear.

"You're my flying off into the sunset moment." Cas whispered back.


End file.
